Sunday, August 16, 2009

Three Students and a Cell Phone - A Short Story


That morning, I was running through the College corridors at a breakneck speed, bumping into anyone and everyone because I was late for the class - and added to that, the first hour was allotted to the Mathematics lecturer Mrs. Alzan (whom the students had generously honoured with the nickname 'The Terror')
When I finally reached the classroom door - panting like a dog-tired donkey - all the heads (including that of Mrs. Alzan) turned towards me.
"You are late Mel," Mrs. Alzan's voice rang out loud and clear. "Come inside and don't be late again." I stepped inside, amazed at my luck, (for Mrs. Alzan held the unique reputation for granting her students a free tour to the Principal's office.) I had hardly taken a few steps, basking in my narrow escape, when Shaan began to sing - or rather - my cell phone began to ring. A few days back, I had set the singer Shaan's famous song 'Tanha Dil' as my ring tone and I used to wait for a call to hear the song. And here was Shaan, fulfilling my wish. I turned slowly to brave the expression on my lecturer's face. Her visage was contorted with rage and somehow (even in that situation) she managed to remind me of a hen that was trying extremely hard to lay an egg.
"..Chalna akele hum yahan.." Shaan was bellowing.
My cell phone was confiscated that very day.

Two days later.

Mrs. Alzan was working out many problems on the blackboard so that we saw more of her back than her front. To my left, Nita was messaging on her cell phone and to my right, Ella was viewing the image gallery on her mobile. Both were busy with their cell phones, though they did (occasionally) bestow me with their looks of pity. As for me, I sat between them like a sanyasini who had renounced all her worldly pleasures (in my case - my cell phone.)
Suddenly, Ella's cell phone gave a loud beep. Most of the students heard the beep though Mrs. Alzan (bless her soul!) was much too immersed in her beloved mathematical sums to notice anything. "My message alert tone is not in the silent mode," whispered Ella. "Then switch it off dumbo," snapped Nita. Poor Ella - she was visibly shaking - hoping that she would not receive any message until she had silenced her alert tone.
"I have switched on the keypad tones by mistake!" cried Ella, seconds later.
Just then, Mrs. Alzan turned towards us with the air of an accomplished warrior, since she had successfully solved a particularly difficult problem. Now all that dear Ella could do was to hope that her well-wisher would not pursue his attempt at sending her a message. Sensing her fear, my chivalrous Nita said, "Give me your cell phone; I shall take care of the situation." Ella was more than ready to part with the half-foot long trouble maker.
Nita walked up to Mrs. Alzan with Ella's cell phone hidden in her pocket. "May I use the restroom Ma'am?" she asked with unusual politeness. Mrs. Alzan gave her grand consent and Nita marched out of the classroom.
Her plan suddenly became evident to me. Nita would switch off Ella's cell phone in the restroom. I could not contain my smile and I flashed all my 32 teeth at once in what you might call the 'Million Dollar Grin'. But unfortunately, Mrs. Alzan caught sight of my Million Dollar Grin and the result was that she quietly slipped out of the classroom to follow Nita.
Both, Nita and Ella, had to hand over their cell phones that day.

Five days later.

"Therefore students, cell phones are the main culprits," concluded Mrs. Alzan. "Look at your classmates - Mel, Nita and Ella - I have confiscated their cell phones and now, they pay their sincere attention to my lectures even though they are seated in the last bench of the classroom. "
And sure enough, my two friends and I nodded innocently at whatever she said.
However, what Mrs. Alzan was unaware of, was the fact that our highly benevolent friend - Janet - who was seated right in front of us had switched on her mobile which was now playing a Hindi song from the Film 'Dil Chahta Hai' at a comfortable volume so that only the last two benches could hear it.
And the three of us were gently nodding to the rhythm of the song
'...Hum hain naye andaaz kyun ho purana..!'

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Rahul Gandhi: The Chocolate Boy of Indian Politics


"So..Rahul Gandhi is the prime-ministerial candidate of the Congress Party?" asked Nimisha.
Nimisha is a childhood friend of mine. She had just returned to India after spending 7 years of study in England and I took it upon myself to take her for a stroll along the roads of Bangalore. It was election time and she was apparently enthralled by the huge posters and colourful banners of the various political parties that adorned our streets.
"I suppose Dr. Manmohan Singh is their candidate," I replied.
"But I see more of Rahul's posters on the election pamphlets than Dr. Singh's!" exclaimed Nimisha.
I chose to remain silent.

The elections are finally over and the Congress has returned with a thumping majority. But the 'man of the match' - Rahul Gandhi - has once again retreated into his shell!
In fact, the zeal and enthusiasm that Rahul portrayed while campaigning for the Indian National Congress has motivated even the opposition party (the BJP) to encourage its youth wing - Bharatiya Janata Yuva Morcha.
As for Rahul Gandhi, he remains as humble and simple as ever.
Surprisingly, this 38 year old 'Cambridge educated' MP from Amethi (Uttar Pradesh) has listed 'farming' as his only occupation, thereby identifying himself with the poor farmers who truly constitute the backbone of our nation.
Recently, Sushma Swaraj- a senior BJP leader- has accused the media of succumbing to the "gore chitte, chikne chupde" (fair and chocolate-faced) Congress leaders, especially Rahul Gandhi.
Perhaps they have failed to notice the immense potential behind this 'chocolate face'.
During our landmark elections this year, Rahul travelled across the country to campaign for his party. No Congressman could compete with Rahul's ability to make fiery and candid speeches in a nation that speaks over 60 languages.
The NDA government had earlier come up with slogans like 'India Shining' and 'Hindutva' during their election campaigns. But Rahul has slammed these slogans and upheld his own party's aim to work for the 'Aam Aadmi' (the common man) in his speech at Maharashtra. In his own words: "If you go to a village and ask what 'India Shining' means, the villagers will be unable to understand what it means. This thinking is that of rich people. They fight for privatisation, they fight for the stock market; but do not reach your houses."
He once again portrayed his skill at sending forth strong messages to the opposition party in the simplest words when he said , "They (the BJP leaders) did not go to the houses of the poor, the farmers, the Dalits and other weaker sections of society. They just went to the houses of the rich."
Right from the day Rahul entered politics, he has had to face the strong criticism and the rude remarks made by the opposition party members.
First, they pointed out the fact that his mother was an Italian, thereby making him unworthy to join Indian politics. Later, as his fan-base grew among the Indian Youth, they held his 'chocolate face' responsible. And recently, a BJP political analyst has asserted that Rahul Gandhi is a "proxy PM candidate" who "can say what he wants without being held accountable."
These are a few baseless and frivolous remarks that crumble before Rahul's cool-headed nature.
This young politician has successfully tackled complex issues that only the Ministers of the Cabinet address. From lodging in posh and luxurious hotels to spending nights in farmers' huts - this man has willingly tasted everything. He is one of the very few leaders whose dedication and deeds has enabled him to state with firm conviction : "We functioned as per our promise."

Recently, Nimisha gave me a call after she had returned to London.
"So Rahul Gandhi is not the Prime Minister of India?" was her first question.
"No," I answered.
"I guess he has become a member of the Council of Ministers.." she added hopefully.
"No.." I repeated. "He has turned down the offer."
"Ah!" she exclaimed. "That's bad... I wish I knew the reason why..."

Well, actually Nimisha, we all wish we knew the reason why...!